Cascade Crew

[Guest]

Dear Lama

While at the local corner market I have a hard time choosing a frosty cold beverage to buy. my pocket book is small and ofter time go for a 44oz malt drink or a 24 pack of natural ice.

What can I drink to get a good buzz and will impress the ladys?

Buzzed

[Guest]

Dear Buzzed.

If there is one thing that I may know more about than relationships. It is fermented beverages. So fear not master of the malt, I can help.

Here is what you need to do, you need to be come a wine connoisseur. Chicks dig wine. I know what you are asking "But, Lama, isn't wine very expensive and for snooty upity cheese eating french dudes?". Well, yes it is, but fear not Mr. Qwik-E-Mart, for I am going to lay out the gas station shopping budget must have wine cellar for you.

Below are 5 wines, that if you have at your bungalow will go over like a pack of lemmings.

#1 -- Bartles and Jaymes -- Classic. Everyone from the 80's will remeber this classic. Having this in your wine cellar, will surely scream "I am classy, like Flock of Seagulls"


#2 -- Franzia -- Chianti
Since the B&J is so lightly flavored, you need to have a nice red available. All I can say about this wonderful choice is, you get it 3L at a time. If your lady friend doesn't like it, just open the end of box, and down it through your beer bong with your buddies.


#3 -- Thunderbird -- This quoted as "The American Classic". Honestly, how can you go wrong with that? Serving this gem just screems, "I love this country"



#2 -- Cisco -- This here is a wine you want to be carefull with, I really don't suggest starting with this, but after 2 glasses of one of the other fine wines on this list, and let the Cisco flow. I mean, this stuff is no joke, the FTC actually made them print a specific warning on this fine wine. All I know is, half a bottle of this, and your friend ain't leaving your house.



#1 -- Mad Dog 20/20 -- No real wine celar is complete without Mad Dog, this is the crème de la crème when it comes to fine wine. If you ever think the girl in question might already be a wine expert, then go to this FIRST, it will surely empress even the biggest wine crititc.



So, Buzzed, I sure hope that these selections will help you create your own home wine cellar. Once that girl see's what a cultured and classy guy you are, I am sure she will be impressed!

Drink On,
The Lama.